Woo-Hoo!!!

We have our travel dates! Yea! We leave on January 19, arrive there on January 20, and have our state department of adoption appointment on the 21st. Will probably have to wait for the following Monday to see Kolya, but that's okay. So exciting! If all goes well, we'll be bringing him home -- for good -- around the third week of February. It would have been nice to have him home for Christmas, or to get over there and get started before that, but at least this way we won't have a conflict with Randi's graduation, and we'll be home for Christmas. It also would have been nice to be able to host him for Christmas, but we just didn't know when we would be going over, and the invitation date could have fallen while he was here. In that case, the whole process would have been delayed.

One of our agency's translators was over there a couple of weeks ago and talked to Kolya. He explained to him about our not hosting him, and assured him that we are coming. He said that Kolya was all smiles and understanding! My heart melts to hear news like this. I thank God that he's okay, and that he's looking forward to coming to his new home. He has no idea how he is already blessing us with his sweet little boy spirit.

It's snowing! It finally started here about 10:00 p.m., so it's been almost an hour, now. There is a possibility of a couple inches of accumulation, but it's not even 32 degrees, yet, so I'm doubtful. It looks so pretty with the Christmas lights on and snow falling. We were almost asleep, but it had been sleeting for a while, so we were watching for it, and then David saw it. Tyler threw on a jacket of David's and a pair of sneakers, and hit the door running! Too cute -- after I put the camcorder away, I looked outside and saw Tyler dancing on the deck and singing James Brown: "I feel good... like I knew that I would...!" ha!

I heard this one on the news today: The New Orleans Saints are eleven and oh, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!

AND STILL WAITING TO HEAR ABOUT OUR TRAVEL DATES...

WOW -- Did you see the Saints take care of the Patriots??? I LOVE Monday Night Football! The Dome was soooo loud -- way too much fun to be had on a school night - ha! I took a 3 hour nap after I took Tyler to school this morning (I NEVER do that). Of course, now it's 1:30 a.m., and I have just now gotten sleepy...

Chance of sleet/snow overnight Friday. Too crazy -- it snowed last year, so it's not supposed to snow again this year - ha! We have brunch reservations for Reindeer Romp at Annadele's Plantation on Saturday. It should be fun, and hopefully the weather will be nice, even if it's cold. They will have reindeer and Santa there, and activities for kids. I'm hoping that Tyler will like the reindeer so much that he won't think it's lame to go do this, especially since Remy will be with us. He's always trying to impress Remy, and since Remy's older, well, you just never know...

Wednesday night the agency called to say that our papers had not yet been signed, so we don't yet have a date to go over. We still could hear something this evening -- waiting...

Our paperwork has been translated and filed with Kolya's country for a week, now. The adoption facilitator was to go today and see whether we have our appointment date! We're just waiting for a phone call from the agency to give us the date! It's getting so close -- sooo exciting!

Randi was accepted to a state school -- yea! She has not yet received her campus assignment, so she doesn't know exactly which campus she will be offered, but this is just so cool -- I mean, probably about a savings of $20k-a-year-cool over a private school.

I took Tyler to play golf yesterday. He quit on me after 9 holes. He has a beautiful golf swing. His practice swings are perfect, then about half the time, when he goes to hit the ball, he leans on his back foot. argh! Basketball games start next week. Busy boy! He is excited about missing school to go out of the country -- he loves traveling and he especially loves missing school - ha!

Pray for Kolya while he waits for us!

DOCUMENT-READY!

WOO-HOO! I Fed-Ex'ed our last documents to the adoption agency today! Our foreign program dossier should be complete, now! We may find out in the next 2-3 weeks when we'll be traveling overseas to try and bring Kolya home. That means I need to make sure I finish all my Christmas shopping in the next couple of weeks, and gather up all the things we'll need while in the other country. There will be some more paperwork that we'll have to do, but none as complicated or time-consuming to gather as the stuff for the other government. In fact, I think I've already gathered most of what we'll need.

Randi has another PT school interview this week! Tyler's finishing up with soccer, and starting basketball. We had soccer practice tonight, we have our first basketball practice tomorrow night, and a soccer game Thursday night. Here's hoping it's our last soccer game 'til spring! We're ready to move on to the next sport.

Go Cowboys! Go Saints! We had a good time at the Saints game Sunday. Since David was out of town Sunday, Tyler and I took a friend of Tyler's with us for the first time. There's a cool place in the Dome where we can go throw the football around before the game and at halftime, so the boys really enjoyed that. By the time we got settled in at home Sunday night, it was 9:00 when I was able to start watching the Cowboys-Eagles game. I fell asleep shortly after the 3rd quarter began. On Monday morning, I tried to avoid the results of the game until I had time to finish watching it. I almost made it, then David sent me a text to say good morning -- and "how 'bout those Cowboys!" ugh! He, of course, could not believe that I didn't stay up for the game. I tried, really I did!

Friday afternoon thoughts...

What a long, tiring week! I have really been looking forward to today to have some time alone at home. I've been in the office since I got home from my workout. Not exactly a relaxing day, but I've gotten some things done that needed to be done. And David called to say that he'd go pick Tyler up for me. That was good news. Then, I remembered that we have Russian class at 5:30 this evening. I do NOT feel like driving to Slidell. Oh, well.

I've been thinking a lot about Kolya, of course, lately. Particularly this week, since his birthday was last week, and I've spent the week taking care of adoption matters. I just keep wondering what he's thinking every day. Is he worrying that he'll end up with another huge disappointment in life? My heart keeps seeing deep wounds from feeling like he isn't loved. Or wanted. I'm wondering what life must be like for him over there with no family to take care of him, or to visit him. When Mama was his age and living in the orphanage, she and her friends played "adoption." (They had all kinds of grandiose ideas about the wonderful families with beautiful mommies that they would be going to live with just any day now.)

Kolya told me he doesn't have many friends, and it didn't take long for him to start asking to come back for the winter program. What a lonely life for a child, living in an orphanage. Adoption of these boys is a lifelong mission for us. This is our small way of going into all the world to spread the gospel to every one of God's children.

I have heard many people (between spats of chewing tobacco) say things like, "I don't see why all these people go to Russia and all these other countries to adopt kids. I say take care of our own, first. There are lots of kids in our own country who don't have families." True, many children in the U.S. need good homes. To the people who foster or adopt those children I say that that is awesome. It is wonderful that you are doing this. Good for you. Good for those kids. To the nay-sayers, however, I say that you have totally missed the point, and I say that you have apparently never been to any other country. Why, exactly, is my son less worthy of having a loving home and family because he was not furtunate enough to have been born here? It comes down to a measure of opportunity. Kids in the U.S. whose parents have problems go into foster homes. Kids in other countries end up in orphanages with hundreds of other kids. Kids in the U.S. in foster care get a college education paid for by the states. Kids from orphanages in Eastern Europe do not, and more times than not end up on the street. Opportunity. Opportunity.

The host kids must have been told to be on extra special good behavior while with their host families this summer. When Kolya was here and became very comfortable with us, he would occasionally catch himself and be very polite for fear that we wouldn't want to have him come stay again at Christmas. One night after he finished eating supper, he told me, "Thank you for the supper. It was delicious." Tyler couldn't stand it - ha! He rolled his eyes repeatedly, screwed up his mouth, and in his best smart-aleck said, "Thank you for the supper, it was delicious..." ha!

It has been a long, busy week. I spent Monday through Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. gathering adoption paperwork: signatures, going to doctors' offices, gathering more signatures, and finally going to the Secretary of State's office for apostilles, then FedEx'ing it all to the adoption agency. I even sent Randi on an errand to Austin to get an apostille for us. Whew! Unbelievable the difference in the amount of documentation required as opposed to our Russian adoption, however. This is MUCH better, but still covers all the bases.

Today, I played tennis from 9:30 to 11:30, then had lunch with some girls there. We had a great time. I am thoroughly enjoying learning to really play tennis. I ran a couple of errands, then by the time I got home, it was already almost 2:00! I had 30 minutes to do stuff at home before having to pick Tyler up from school.

Tyler had a soccer game this evening. The score was tied 3-3 at the end, and they decided to play five minutes of overtime. In those five minutes, the other team got TWO goals past our goalie. He had done a pretty good job all night, but he's no Tyler.

We had our ladies Bible study group tonight, and I am just exhausted. I have some stupid sinus thing going on today, and I'm feeling pretty run down.

The decision was made today not to host Kolya for Christmas because there is a small chance that our travel dates would be during the hosting period. I'm relieved that there is a resolution to the quandary of whether to spend the money to host (only one month, or less, before adoption). On the other hand, I sure did want him here with us for Christmas! :o( We are so blessed to have options.

A Great Day!

I have had a wonderful day, today! It started early, a little before 6. I got up and made a couple of cups of decaf pumpkin spice coffee, poured me a cup, and sat down at David's desk in the office to call Kolya. Yep, that's right -- I got to call Kolya today for his birthday! Go, me! I was nervous calling without a translator, but apparently I did fine. Our adoption facilitator was able to contact the orphanage earlier this week to get the phone number and hours for me, so they were expecting me to call. Kolya's 11 today.

David, Tyler, and I sang Happy Birthday to him. I asked him if he knew what "happy birthday" means, and he said, "Da." I told him I thought we might be able to go there in January or February. I asked him if he was ready for that. He said, "Da." I told him that he would soon be my son. He said, "Da." I asked him if he had received our gift package. He said, "Da." I asked him if he was learning his English at school. He said, "Yes." ha! A boy of very few words on the phone. He volunteered nothing, just answered my questions and responded to my statements, of course.

After dropping Tyler off at school, I went and had a really hard workout class -- it was great. Then I came home, and David was home. He heated up the hot tub, and we soaked a while after a short rain. I picked Tyler up from school and took him to the health club to hit tennis balls with the ball machine. After 20 minutes, it started raining hard, so we had to quit. David had met us over there, so I took them on a tour of the facility and we played a little basketball. We ate supper there because our free meals (for new members) were about to expire. It was really good food. When we left, the cold front had blown through, and it was 62 degrees. It had been almost 80 when we got there.

Finally, when we came home and I went through our mail, I found our INS APPROVAL LETTER! Holy cow! That's what we've been waiting for!!!!!!!!! Okay, so NOW we are waiting for David's proof of employment letter, our criminal background checks, then I think we are DONE COLLECTING OUR PAPERWORK FOR THE ADOPTION! Woo-hoo! We're going to make the deadline, so we possibly will be leaving for our adoption trip at the end of January! How cool is that?! God is so good!

How's the Adoption Process Going?

Well, I am steadily working on our paperwork for the adoption. Today I spent all day in the car, it seemed. I dropped Tyler off at school, then went to the courthouse in Covington to get a certified document. I had to order one, and they said it takes 3-4 days to get it done, so I'm waiting for that one. Until I get it and know its official name, there is another document that I can't complete because it requires the official name of that document. Mm-hmm, that's the way this goes... one document depends upon another, and they all have to be notarized, then taken to the Secretary of State's office in Baton Rouge for an Apostille (certification that the notary was a real notary, etc.).

After I went to the courthouse in Covington, I went to the juvenile court on the other side of the River (did I mention that that is also on the other side of the lake?). I picked up documents there and took them to Baton Rouge for the Apostille. Then I returned to Covington to pick Tyler up from school, went to pick up a prescription at CVS, and came home. I had to organize a few files when I got home, return some phone calls, and send out a reminder email about the continuing education seminar that I'm hosting on Thursday. Whew!

There are so many hoops to jump through in international adoption! Imagine asking your physician to fill out a document regarding your general health, signing it before a notary, then attaching a copy of his medical license, and asking him to sign all in front of a notary that they are "true and correct copies" of his license and the medical report. That's the sort of thing that people are required to do in international adoption cases. It's a pain, really. But, right now I am looking at the picture of Kolya holding the care package we sent him in September. HE IS SO WORTH IT! I hope he "gets" how much he means to us, and how badly we want him home for good. I'm sure he doesn't get the whole concept, yet, because he has never had anyone who wanted him in just the same way before. But, if he could just feel a little of our hopes for him...

Kolya's birthday is Friday, and I am hoping I can figure out a good way to call him. I'd like to communicate with him all the time, but I know nothing about Skype, so I'm doing just a little inquiring... Honestly, his orphanage is so remote (it's out in the country), that I don't know if we can arrange Skype to work, anyway. I don't know how much computer access he would have there, but I'm trying to find out this week.

I have not been good this week about keeping up with my Bible study group lessons on Daniel. :o( I've just been so busy with the family visit, and all this adoption paperwork, and Sunday was devoted to our church's Trunk or Treat (and Tyler had a birthday party to go to that afternoon), that I've been too tired at night to sit down and study it all...

I hope you all have a blessed week. We are so blessed to be able to do this adoption! I have a friend whose adoption will take more than a year from the same country, but the child has not yet been certified free for adoption, so it will take them a while. We may or may not host Kolya over Christmas. It's a bit expensive, if we're able to go see him a month later... My God is good all the time! He will work things out the way they are supposed to be worked out. Pray for us as we go through this journey. There are so many indecisions involved!

Tyler had a 24-hour virus, but is better, now. He stayed up until 10:00 last night finishing up all his make-up work for school! Then, this morning I remembered that he would be having all his tests today instead of Friday because of Grandparents' Day at school. Yikes! We crammed a little on the way to school with spelling and vocabulary, but he's on his own for his reading fluency and math tests. The good news is that he's a smart boy. :o)

Mama and Daddy are coming down today for Grandparents' Day. It's storming pretty badly right now while they're traveling, so they said it is slow going. The storms haven't quite made it here, yet, but certainly they will shortly. We should have a pretty good time visiting. They make for good company. Unfortunately, they will be leaving on Saturday, so it's a short visit. (It's hard for me to understand families who don't get along -- I've been so blessed with an awesome one!)

I had email contact with our adoption agency yesterday. They are supposed to send me some documents and instructions on how to get them filled out SOON, but I'm still waiting... If our paperwork isn't done by the middle-end of November, we won't be able to file until after New Years! grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Oh, yes, patience... I keep forgetting that!

Randi received her first PT school acceptance! Hooray! How exciting! Bring 'em on!

Tyler's been sick all day today. :o( He came downstairs at 4 a.m. sick at his stomach and stayed sick that way until 1:30 p.m. He was running a very low-grade fever. He finally held down some jello, then some soup, then more jello. When I checked his temp at 5:45 p.m., it was 102.6! Tylenol brought it down, then later the ibuprofen brought it down some more. Poor little guy had to miss a soccer game tonight. He has felt so miserable that he was even unhappy that he has to miss school again tomorrow. (Yes, he usually wants to miss school. You see, school is stupid because it has math! This kid is known to put the thermometer on a lightbulb or under hot water to try and trick me into letting him stay home.)

Go, Saints! What a fun game that was! Saints 48 Giants 27

Our ladies Bible study is really good again this fall. We're doing Beth Moore's study on Daniel. Her studies are so good at getting us into the Word. I love the challenge.

I keep thinking about Kolya and how the adoption process seems to be bogging down. I suppose having him home by Christmas was a pretty lofty goal, anyway. The paperwork is just a pain, and it seems like it will never be completely done. Just when I was thinking we were probably about finished, more requirements. At the same time, I know I should be grateful that there is so little paperwork required as compared to our first adoption! I mean, truly very little paperwork.

My neck is sore tonight for some reason. I'll be signing off, now. G'night.

Our Weekend

We had a good weekend. Tyler was out of school for records day on Friday, so we left on Thursday night toward Texas. We drove half way, and spent the night there, then drove on to Texas on Friday morning. I left Tyler and David with Daddy; and Mama, Julie and I had lunch together. Then Julie and I went shopping. That's a major event, in case you didn't know. Julie doesn't like shopping any more than I do, and we shopped 'til we dropped! First, we found some bedding for the baby's room -- too cute! Then, we spent a looooooooooong time getting a maternity wardrobe. Julie was so adorable in those clothes that I think she almost had fun. (But don't tell anyone -- it would absolutely RUIN her reputation!) After that, we went to Babies R Us for her to start her selections. It was a long, tiring day, but I'm pretty sure she's glad that we got all that taken care of in one day. We really got a lot accomplished.

On Saturday, we went to Six Flags. It was a celebration of Tyler's "gotcha day" and Julie's birthday, and it was also Dana's birthday. We had a group of 19 family members! I love Six Flags. :o) That was Tyler's first time to go, and he had a great time. It was a long trip back to Tyler afterward, but all worth it. We got up early Sunday morning and drove home, and I was sooooooooooo sleepy! We listened to the Cowboys on the way home, and (luckily) were able to catch the last 5 minutes plus the overtime on t.v. YEA! GO COWBOYS!!! I have to say, though, that I felt just a smidge sorry for Kansas City, since they played such a tough game, and still haven't won any (hey, I said a SMIDGE! LOL!).

Picked up Ruthie from the Pet Palace today after school. (Her's so poodie!) We have our fingerprint appointment at INS tomorrow morning! Hope the processing goes smoothly and quickly. Could we be traveling by Thanksgiving? Could we possibly be home by Christmas? Probably too much to hope for (I always hate to get my hopes up about things), but still . . .

It's a boy!

It's a boy! Julie and David went for the ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby today, and it's a healthy little boy! Exciting! I can't wait to see the DVD and go shopping with Julie for baby stuff - yea! We'll be going to Six Flags next weekend (Oct 10th), so I'll be up there with them soon.

The Christmas hosting photolist is posted online, and our Kolya's not included. :o(

The only thing I can figure is that they expect our adoption to be so close to being finalized that it would be silly to include him. I don't know. COULD IT BE THAT WE WILL HAVE HIM HOME FOR CHRISTMAS???? WOW!!! What if?

People keep telling me that we will get our INS approval letter long before INS says they will send it. That's really the biggest holdup, I'm pretty sure. Once we have that letter, we should be really close to being finished with our foreign program dossier. We have our fingerprint appointment on October 13, then we just have to sit and wait for the approval letter to come.

TTFN -- "ta ta for now," says Tigger.

Going on with everyday life...

While we WAIT, we are -- of course -- keeping very busy. Tyler scored a goal at his first U10 soccer game last Saturday! I was in College Station Friday and Saturday with Randi. She got her Aggie class ring! Oh, yeah -- how cool is this: Randi got word that she has an interview at UTMB's PT school in Galveston! yea!!!

I had a board meeting Monday morning across the lake (AND across the river - ha!), met with the woman who runs our bar association Christmas party venue to sign a contract; tennis Tuesday morning, then finished and published the bar association website; Wednesday I cleaned off my desk, organized a file drawer, and did some laundry; this morning I have a doctor appointment; tonight is Bible study night; tomorrow I have a shower to attend (oh, yeah -- I need to go shopping for gifts today), and we have Russian class in Slidell on Fridays at 5:30; Saturday is soccer; Sunday, Tyler has a birthday party to go to; then we start another week's activities. I'm pretty sure I'm going to join the new gym in town on Monday-- need to tweak my workout routine.

Tyler's not doing well in math, so far, this year. He doesn't want to go to school. "School is stupid because it has math." :o( Pray for him, please! He does very well in EVERY other subject; he and math just don't "click." Homework is a pain much of the time. Actually, he does fairly well on homework/daily assignments, but he doesn't test well at all.

I am putting together a small package to send to Kolya for his birthday (October 30). I have everything ready except a letter to enclose with it. I need to send it off tomorrow, since it takes a few weeks to get packages to him. I keep thinking about him. Don't you know that he's waking up anxious every day wondering whether and when something is going to happen, now that he knows we're coming! I really hope they warned him that it may take a long time!

Meanwhile, I will be dropping off a few obligations at the end of the year. I think I will probably have to home school Kolya for a while until he learns some English. (Our public school district is less than optimum, unfortunately. I am hoping I can talk the parish into letting him attend a school in a different district; we'll see!)

Oh, oh, oh!!! I almost forgot! Our agency says that they think we will have Kolya home for good before Mardi Gras - wow! I have trouble believing it can really move that quickly, but we'll see about that, too. (I have to send off for our state criminal records checks today or tomorrow. Then, I just need a few more documents to have everything gathered for our dossier.) Dude -- I have waaaay too much to do.

Hope you are all having a nice, productive, and blessed week.

News Update

Today we received a picture of Kolya holding the care package we sent him! He's looking very handsome, isn't he?

Much has happened since my last post! There has been a huge scare in the adoption and hosting community that his country will shut down all hosting programs, and possibly adoptions from the U.S. There was a couple in Florida who hosted three girls (through a different hosting program from the one we did) this summer. They were to leave for home last week, but this couple refused to return the girls! It was a huge big deal, with the State Department and the other country's government having to get involved. Long story, short (now), the local court in Florida ordered the children returned, and (after more drama with the FBI involved in convincing the man to follow the court order) the girls were finally returned last Thursday afternoon. We still don't know 100% that hosting will be allowed, but we sure do hope and pray so! How awesome to be able to host Kolya over Christmas while waiting for adoption paperwork to be processed!

Tyler is on board with the adoption, now. He said a few weeks ago, "That would be cool -- then I'd have a brother." Another day he said, "Mom, why didn't we get a teenager?" ha! Yesterday he asked, "Mom, have they said, yet, that we can get Kolya?"

We went to file our INS paperwork this morning, but they won't fingerprint us for another month! argh!!! At least our file is complete, home study and all. Our local office tells us it will take 60-180 days to get our approval letter to us AFTER fingerprinting! Ugh!!!! Waiting, waiting, patience, patience...

Oh, boy! Miss 2 weeks of blogging, and you have so much to say! lol! Have a blessed weekend!

Good news

The facilitator saw Kolya yesterday, and asked him if he wanted us to adopt him. She said he jumped up and down with excitement! YEA!!!

PRAY FOR ALL INVOLVED, PLEASE: Kolya and us - for health, happiness, and patience; the facilitators - that they will instruct us in our paperwork correctly and efficiently; INS (USCIS) - for a quick and correct processing of our paperwork (they put an incorrect date on our papers for Tyler's adoption, and we had to request a new approval notice); his country's government - to allow things to happen, and to happen quickly.

Okay, now the hard part -- all the paperwork, and more waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (But I addressed "waiting" yesterday, didn't I? lol!) We are at the beginning of the process, folks. It may take a while, but ... LET'S ROLL! (that's LSU purple, by the way... lol!)

Still waiting...

Mama news: Well, we are still waiting on official word regarding whether Kolya is legally available for adoption... The team from the hosting organization was at his orphanage TODAY interviewing kids for the Christmas hosting. Oh, man, I wish I could have been there with them! Latest word is that we may know officially by Monday (and possibly even tomorrow!).

Nana news: Julie's finished her first trimester, and she and baby are doing great! Pray for good health for both of them.

College kid news: Randi got a PT school interview! yea for her! I think she's going to Abilene next week for that. I'm really hoping she gets in, and that it is just the first of many interviews and acceptances for her. (I would LOVE for her to get into a state school!!!)

Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still and know that I am God..." Ahh, so waiting is just part of life, and as a Christian, I should be really good at it. Perhaps my faith ensures that it is easier for me to wait than it is for those who are of the world. Patience. Perseverence.

Somewhat off-topic (OT)--Sometimes in my life I have had regrets and thoughts of past failures or inactions, or other things that cause me to be unable to forgive myself and move on with life, so that I may live in the present and make my life full and abundant. I re-discovered a verse this spring while studying for our ladies' Bible class that really spoke to my heart, and I've starred and underlined it in my Bible. It is 2 Corinthians 10:5--"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." In the past, I skimmed this verse, not really seeing what "speculations" meant, and thus not seeing what this verse means for me. The Holy Spirit let me see this verse all fresh and new this spring. Our "speculations" are our "if-onlys" and "what-ifs!" It boils down to this for me: because we know God, we have to defeat every thought that is inconsistent with what we know to be true and correct! No, actually: because I know God, I have to defeat every thought that is inconsistent with what I know to be true and correct!

Summer Hosting Experience III

More words to describe hosting? Heartwarming and bittersweet. I'm having trouble knowing where to begin.

What did we expect from hosting? Why did we do it in the first place? I think David and I would each answer these questions differently, to be honest. I can speak only for myself. I suppose I started out thinking that it would be a good way to have a trial-run with a child without the headache and heartache that can be foster care. I REALLY didn't want to do that. I knew we did not want to adopt again the same way we had adopted Tyler. (We had only a few hours with him before adopting him.) We had to see whether another child could work in our home before committing to adoption. So what's left? A hosting program! Most hosting programs only last a couple of weeks. This one gives enough time to truly see how things might work out. At the end of the program, if we were not going to try and adopt, we were supposed to evaluate whether we felt like the child could "fit" into a family, and include a brief description of the child for another family to either host or adopt Kolya. I could not even imagine trying to do that. Well, actually, I did imagine it; I just didn't like the idea of setting him up with some other family. Jealousy? You bet!

Kolya didn't learn as much English as a lot of the kids on the hosting trip learned, because he depended on the fact that I could communicate with him. In the last 2 weeks here, I tried to speak mostly English with him, but it sure was easy to slip right back into speaking Russian! He learned some, and I know he understood more than he let on, because they do have some English classes at school. It is much like our junior high Spanish class, however. He came here knowing how to say "good morning" "good afternoon" and "good evening" and "speak English." I do think, however, that it put his mind at ease that we could communicate; and I am thankful that I could do that for him.

I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to leave my home for 6 weeks to go to another country, stay with complete strangers who don't even speak the same language, and who eat strange food. And, even though a chaperone came with me to that country, she was staying about 1000 miles away from me! Not only that, but I cannot imagine having done that when I was 10 years old! (By the way, I LOVE teaching the kids "hot dog" when we've already covered the word "dog!" ha! He was mystified, then horrified, just like Tyler was! lol!)

Church was a new and different experience for Kolya. He was completely uninterested, always asking, "When is it over?" How do you explain the love of Christ to someone with very little exposure to the concept? Well, first, we gave him a couple of children's Bibles to read, one in Russian, and one in his second language. He said thanks, then didn't look at them again until we were already three weeks into hosting. One day, I picked up the Bible story book again and handed it to him. I pointed out to him that it was in his second language, and he asked, "It's mine?" I told him yes, and he took it immediately over to the sofa and started reading! About a week and a half later, I was tucking him into bed that night, and he pointed to the picture of the moon on the wall of Tyler's room. He explained to me that God made it and all the planets, and he proceeded to tell me about Adam and Eve and how they ate the fruit and were thrown out of the garden, about Moses and the Red Sea, about Daniel in the lions' den, and about Jonah, including how he went on to Ninevah to preach after his experience inside the fish. He was really impressed with how Jonah spent three days and three nights there. I was shocked! This child had read every Old Testament story in that book in a week and a half! Not just read them -- UNDERSTOOD them! I should not have been shocked, of course. God can use the Holy Spirit in many ways, including letting a child understand His word. In the hotel room when we returned to Atlanta, he finished reading his little Bible. What wonderful things our God can do. My God is so big! And he is good. All the time.

The other thing we did to try and explain the love of Christ: we tried to show it to him.

Kolya is a precious boy. He's brave and strong. He's unselfish and loving. He's all boy. He's curious and playful. He wants "stuff." He has a great sense of humor. He's athletic and physically strong. He thinks it's icky when boys and girls kiss. He's affectionate. He remembers having a family. He wants to have another family.

At night, Kolya was most loving. He would ask me every night if I would come up to his bed and stay with him like I had the night before. He wanted to cuddle and held onto my arm in the bed until he fell asleep. A couple of times when we were cuddled up watching a movie on television, he pointed to himself and to me and said, "I'm yours, da? I'm yours, da?" He told me many times that he wanted to stay with me and that he wanted to live with me. We were not allowed to let on to the kids that we might seek adoption, for the sake of those who could not or would not follow through. (Understandably, the orphanages do not want a bunch of kids to be heartbroken.) He lowered his expectations a bit, and started asking if he could come back on the winter hosting trip, and next summer, and next winter, and the next summer, etc. He would tell me he loved me -- in English and in Russian -- and he gave great hugs.

The most difficult was, of course, taking him back to the airport. (I know he's in a pretty good orphanage. He's well taken care of, well fed, well-nourished, and what-all, but it's still an orphanage.) He worked me pretty hard there. He kept telling me he wanted to stay with me, he wanted to live with me. He asked if I would just switch passports with him - ha! Finally, he said in his best English, "My name is David Beard. I do not speak Russian. I speak only English. I am an American." All I could do was hug him and choke back tears. I didn't boo-hoo like some were doing (mostly the ones with crying girls), but it's hard when you have that lump in your throat. We were supposed to help the kids to accept leaving by not being too emotional. He continued to try and get me to commit to bringing him back for the winter hosting. I told him I would try.

All the kids returned safely to their countries. Including Kolya.

Summer Hosting Experience II

What other words describe our experience with Kolya this summer? Fun and rewarding. We picked him up the evening of June 24 in Atlanta. We drove a couple of hours, and spent the night in a hotel room.

It was really cool being able to help Kolya experience things he had never done before! Right off the bat, we stopped on our way home from Atlanta and went to Gulf Shores to the beach. I honestly think that day was very surreal for Kolya. It was almost as if he couldn't believe his good furtune in being chosen to come to America!

On July 4, we took the boat out to the lake and pulled the boys around on the tube, then anchored among the sailboats to watch the sun go down, and then watch the fireworks from the water. It was a gorgeous sunset that evening, and the boys had such a good time, jumping off the boat and swimming around it. It was good watching them help each other up out of the water and onto the tube, and being concerned for the other guy when he would fall off.

We went to the zoo one day, and to the aquarium on another. Both were new for Kolya. When I told him that they were located in the "big city," he was afraid. He asked where the bandits with the guns were! I reassured him that they were on the next street, not the one we were on. JUST KIDDING! He must hear some kind of stories over there! ha!

We took Kolya to soccer camp for a week, and he just loved it. Because he's so small, apparently the director had put him with the younger kids. After the first day or two, he had to move him to play with the older kids because he's a pretty good soccer player, I think.

Kolya knew how to ride a bike and a skateboard, already. He had told us he knew how to swim, but actually wasn't very good at it at all! His swimming improved remarkably over the 6 weeks here. He enjoyed fishing down at the pond, and riding the lawn mower with David. He helped TREMENDOUSLY when David was building a little deck off the back porch. He's a real workhorse! He tried to fix everything -- every previously-broken toy and flashlight in the house works, now!

I took Kolya to Six Flags when I took him back to Atlanta. He was overjoyed -- so excited! The first ride we got on was a big roller coaster with a couple of loops in it. He was NOT impressed; in fact, he screamed like a girl and I had to drag him to the next one!!! lol! He was sooo glad he was too short to ride the really big ones! lol! Now, THAT was fun! His favorites were the bumper cars and the go-karts.

We tried to keep the summer low-key, without too many leave-the-house activities. We went to a couple of movies, which he loved, and we played laser tag. We went to a couple of friends' houses to swim and meet/visit with other kids. We did make a trip to Texas to visit with family there. He enjoyed playing the Wii at Aunt Dana's house, and Julie and Randi met us at a water park for some last-day fun. Of course, we went to church. We tried not to overwhelm Kolya, and still believe that was best.

Summer Hosting Experience I

Wow! How can I best describe our experience this summer in hosting Kolya? Hmmm, words such as exhausting, tiring, and tension-filled certainly come to mind. Tyler and Kolya butted heads constantly for about four weeks. Everything was a fight and an argument. Each was afraid that the other would get one-up on him, and they are both highly competitive boys. Kolya has "orphanage issues," and does not at all resolve conflict well. He punched Tyler (and any other child, for that matter) when he was angry. Tyler, who is more savvy to what's a punishable offense around here, would sneak in his jabs and punches. It was the age-old problem of not ever quite knowing which kid was telling the truth, so they would both end up being punished.
Finally, about four weeks into having Kolya here, those problems seemed to just sort of go away, for the most part. The boys started getting along better, and Kolya could see some benefit to having Tyler here, particularly when he had trouble with the video games. I think the calming effect may have coincided somewhat with my telling Kolya that Tyler is Russian. I had not told him that previously because I did not want him to go directly in his mind to adoption, when that may not happen for him. We certainly were not sure at that point that we wanted to adopt, even though we could tell that he's a good kid. It wasn't so much about him as it was about our high-maintenance son, however.
Also, about that same time, I had a good talk with Tyler. Tyler has been asking for a brother for about two years. I reminded him of that fact, and his response was, "Yeah, but not that one -- he's annoying!" ha! I discussed with him how kids don't get to choose their siblings, and how siblings often don't get along. I told him about how my sisters and I fought like crazy when we were kids, and how MEAN they were to each other, and to me. He grinned and said, "Tell me more about that, Mom." I also told him about how mean I was to my baby sister. Then I asked him to notice how my sisters are now my best friends. He thought about it for a minute and said, "That would be cool. Then I would have a brother." YES!
Tyler has since several times made little comments about Kolya coming to live with us, about having Kolya be his brother, etc. He's still a little unsure (he wanted a teenage brother who could play "Teen"-rated video games - ha!), but coming around.

The process begins... and Old Stuff

Old Stuff
I HAVE A COUPLE OF EARLY-HOSTING-DAYS JOURNAL ENTRIES THAT I INTENDED TO POST TO THE BLOG A WHILE BACK, BUT FORGOT ABOUT. HERE THEY ARE:

Monday, 6/29/09 So far, so good. Kolya speaks Russian – yea! I can more or less communicate with him… So here’s how we’re doing, five days into hosting --First the downside: We go to the first dentist visit today -- says he doesn't want to go, but I did tell him that it won't hurt (hope it really doesn't!). The main issue we're having is that he wants to play the video game all the time, and acts bored when t.v. and video games are off-limits. (Only allow video game for 30-40 minutes per day, and television is at night, mostly.) He's also doing some "testing" when we tell him "no" about something, but we just stick to our guns, and he accepts it. (except the gumball machine that I finally just had to put away because he would not quit getting gum, even after I told him to stop :o))

During the day, it is so blasted HOT here that it is really miserable outside unless we're in the pool. (We’ve also had water balloon fights and water hose fights.) I've just sent the boys upstairs to find toys to play with (a room full, and they're bored...). Oh, yea! they just found a couple of still-working remote control cars!

Tyler (about to turn 8, and the only child still at home) wants to tell on him and get him into trouble, and there's some DEFINITE jealousy there. Kolya has shown no interest at all in the Bibles we gave him. In Bible class yesterday, he asked me when it would be over… He also has no interest in the journal. I told him he is supposed to write in it every day about what he's done. The first day I gave it to him, he wrote 2 words: "swimming" in Russian, and "bicycle" in English (from the flash card). He hasn't picked it up since. The other thing is that he grunts and points, instead of trying to use English words. He will repeat them after me, though. At home, we drink mostly water from the refrigerator door, but he keeps wanting something else ("coca-cola"), so that's something I have to watch, too. Toothbrushing lasts just ... about … 4 seconds. Tyler tells him to do it again – ha!

However, ON THE UPSIDE: He is a pleasant boy, helpful, and well-mannered. He enjoyed helping David hang a couple of ceiling fans on Saturday, and he likes fishing in the pond (said “oy!” when a big bass jumped out of the water), loves swimming, and riding bikes. He acts like these are all things that he has done before, although he's not the best swimmer, so we have to watch him. He's a good eater, trying everything we give him, pretty much, and eats it all even when he doesn't like it. He's never acted afraid or sad, and I've yet to see him cry. For Tyler, we have always kept a couple of fruit bowls out on the kitchen counter, and Kolya has learned that he can have fresh fruit any time he wants, which he apparently loves having the power to do. Also, he appears to be VERY intelligent, and thinks ahead what we might want/need next. This morning David was reheating a cup of coffee in the microwave, and left the room. A few minutes later, Kolya came walking in to him with the coffee cup and saying "beep-beep-beep!"

On our trip back from Atlanta to New Orleans, we stopped for a couple of hours at Gulf Shores and enjoyed the beach. He seemed familiar with the beach, and was excited to be there. We're having fun, and I'm trying to keep things as "normal" around here as possible. We're not trying to be the entertainment committee, but doing things the way we would even if Kolya weren't here. We are Audobon members, so we may make a few trips to the Audobon Zoo and Aquarium and IMax theater in the summertime. I’ve spent enough time writing this lengthy essay! If you stuck with it, you are strong and powerful! Hope everyone else is having fun!

Sunday, July 05, 2009 We had a good time on the holiday weekend. On Friday, David took off work and we went to the lake to play. On the way we stopped for lunch at Subway, and when we got back in the car, Tyler was crying and saying that Kolya had hit and kicked him repeatedly. Kolya said that Tyler threw his flip-flop into the back of the Landcruiser. Well, I told Kolya that we are to NEVER hit, and that he could not play the video game next week. The first tears came then. He hid under his Star Wars blankie to do his crying there in the back seat. He sulked until we got into the boat at the lake. We had a lot of fun with the boys on the double tube. Kolya and I pulled clams out of the lake while Tyler and David waded in to explore a beach. When we got home, David put the clams on ice and fried them up on Saturday for lunch. Kolya really loved them, and he thoroughly enjoyed helping David open them up to be cooked.Kolya still shows no interest in church, although he did try to sing, humming along during the service. He also likes the craft-making part of Bible class. Tonight at bedtime, he wanted to sleep with us, but I took him and Tyler up to bed at 9:00. Kolya held onto my arm and wanted me to stay with him, so after lights-out I climbed up into the bunk with him. He put his arm around me so sweetly. Then he rolled over and asked me to lightly scratch his back. When he had had enough of that, he held my hand. Tyler had trouble sleeping, so he came up with us. Then I sang several songs to them. Tyler went back down to his bunk, Kolya fell asleep, and then I joined Tyler until he finally fell asleep, too. It was a pretty good night. :o)

8/29/09 (today): We met with our local adoption group, LEEAF, today. That's Louisiana Eastern European Adoptive Families. The kids went to Young Chef's Academy and the parents went to the pizza place next door. The gatherings are usually really good, and this one was no exception. I brought Kolya's summer photo book with me, and it was fun to share that. My friend Suzy and her husband are in the process of adopting 3 Russian kids. Oh, did I forget to mention that they already HAVE 3 Russian kids?!!! What a woman, huh?! They had a wonderful first trip over to meet the kids last month, and anticipate being able to return to bring them home around the end of October.

We are supposed to find out this week whether Kolya is legally available for adoption. Hopefully, we will find out for sure this week. Once we have that information in hand, we make an appointment with INS (now USCIS), take them our home study and several other documents, fill out an application to classify Kolya appropriately, and submit our fingerprints to them so they can check us out. Then, we sit and wait for INS to do their thing and send us the form that we will submit (with still more documentation) to the other country. This can take months! I hope it only takes weeks...

We will most likely host Kolya again for the Christmas hosting. The winter program is 4 weeks instead of 6. Sure would be cool to be going over to get him permanently not long after that!
This week pray for: Kolya to be available for adoption, and for us to get that information this week. Next post: I'll give a rundown on our summer hosting experiences.

New at This

Welcome to my blog!

When I was a little girl, Mama and Daddy one day asked me in exasperated fashion, "Why do you have to talk so much?" My response was, of course, "Because I have so much to say!" Well, here I am -- 40 years later -- and I still have so much to say!

I'm new at this blogging stuff. Never tried it before, so I don't know how it's going to come together and what it's going to look like. I decided to do this instead of real journaling for our possible upcoming adoption process. Hopefully, I will take the time to keep this updated and fill everybody in on what's going on in our lives.

We are the Beard family: David, Stephanie, and Tyler. We have lots of extended family members, too, who are very important to us, and who may be mentioned here from time to time. David and I each have two awesome grown daughters, three of whom are married: J1 is married to B, J2 is married to M, J3 is married to D, and R1 is a single young chick. J1 & B have a son, R2, who is 11. J2 and M have two girls, B, who is 9, and J4 is 5. J3 and D have one on the way, which means that I'll be a Nana sometime around March 3! That leaves R1, our baby girl, age 21, and Tyler, our baby boy, age 8. David has two sisters, and I have 3 sisters. Neither of us has brothers. We have several really cool nieces and nephews, too. And, of course, my Mama and Daddy are still sitting by on pins and needles hoping that I'll call more often and tell them what all I have to say.

Follow along. I hope everyone finds a blessing somewhere in all this!
Stephanie