Summer Hosting Experience I

Wow! How can I best describe our experience this summer in hosting Kolya? Hmmm, words such as exhausting, tiring, and tension-filled certainly come to mind. Tyler and Kolya butted heads constantly for about four weeks. Everything was a fight and an argument. Each was afraid that the other would get one-up on him, and they are both highly competitive boys. Kolya has "orphanage issues," and does not at all resolve conflict well. He punched Tyler (and any other child, for that matter) when he was angry. Tyler, who is more savvy to what's a punishable offense around here, would sneak in his jabs and punches. It was the age-old problem of not ever quite knowing which kid was telling the truth, so they would both end up being punished.
Finally, about four weeks into having Kolya here, those problems seemed to just sort of go away, for the most part. The boys started getting along better, and Kolya could see some benefit to having Tyler here, particularly when he had trouble with the video games. I think the calming effect may have coincided somewhat with my telling Kolya that Tyler is Russian. I had not told him that previously because I did not want him to go directly in his mind to adoption, when that may not happen for him. We certainly were not sure at that point that we wanted to adopt, even though we could tell that he's a good kid. It wasn't so much about him as it was about our high-maintenance son, however.
Also, about that same time, I had a good talk with Tyler. Tyler has been asking for a brother for about two years. I reminded him of that fact, and his response was, "Yeah, but not that one -- he's annoying!" ha! I discussed with him how kids don't get to choose their siblings, and how siblings often don't get along. I told him about how my sisters and I fought like crazy when we were kids, and how MEAN they were to each other, and to me. He grinned and said, "Tell me more about that, Mom." I also told him about how mean I was to my baby sister. Then I asked him to notice how my sisters are now my best friends. He thought about it for a minute and said, "That would be cool. Then I would have a brother." YES!
Tyler has since several times made little comments about Kolya coming to live with us, about having Kolya be his brother, etc. He's still a little unsure (he wanted a teenage brother who could play "Teen"-rated video games - ha!), but coming around.